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I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time.
Amy Sedaris
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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Something
Walk
Platter
Time
Walks
Wand
Stand
Wands
Use
Witchcraft
Happens
Apartment
Come
Kitchen
Sometimes
Works
Every
Magic
More quotes by Amy Sedaris
I stayed in New York City for the first time, I'd always wanted to do that.
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When you hear someone use the word 'meds' instead of the word 'medicine,' chances are they're no stranger to massive doses of mind-altering psychotropic drugs. Back out of the room slowly.
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When I meet a new person, something has to be a little off for me to consider them beautiful. It could be crooked teeth, or veins in their skin that are a little too visible, or a really dramatic lazy eye. The first guy I ever kissed had a water head.
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But I always like to play ugly people who think they're pretty.
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If you cannot come to the party, do not cancel at the last minute or give a message to a child to inform the host. And don't bother explaining why you can't attend because anything after 'because' is bullshit.
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The moment someone says, 'Hey, everyone, listen to the words in this song,' your party is over.
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Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.
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I can't imagine going to an all-girls school. I went to a public school.
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I swear I want to be a food model.
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I don't know my telephone number or anything like that, but when I do have to make a call, I just pull my body over to the side and squat. I don't want to be one of those people who are on their phone all the time.
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A lot of crafters, they're shut-ins.
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I have always wanted a bunny and I'll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.
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My characters always like themselves.
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I like to be the one in charge of everything.
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You just can't enjoy any of the movie when you're in it.
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I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, including a rubber turkey, which, during the holidays, I wrap in tinfoil so it appears to have just come out of the oven.
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I hate playing pretty or sane people. Most people are not attractive or all there.
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Learn more about yourself! Make a self-esteem collage using pictures of other people you wish you were.
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I’ve named everything that I’ve ever owned. Real or inanimate, I have to give it a first and last name. Everything in my apartment comes alive at night.
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I always find something to keep me busy.
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