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I swear I want to be a food model.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Swear
Model
Models
Food

More quotes by Amy Sedaris

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I feel so free and open to ideas, and I get inspired by everything.
Amy Sedaris
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People who shop in health food stores never look healthy.
Amy Sedaris
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But I love how people who are musical, they know how to dress.
Amy Sedaris
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I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.
Amy Sedaris
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A lot of crafters, they're shut-ins.
Amy Sedaris
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I've been to some funerals where there's a lot of laughing - it's about celebrating their new journey. I can't think of anything. There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
Amy Sedaris
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I like it when people who aren't so attractive, or they have a whole lot of hurdles to get over, I like it when they dress up and they look presentable. That, to me, just touches me.
Amy Sedaris
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Before you can give of yourself to others you must know what of yourself you have to give. Every person is special. In all the land there is only one you, possibly two, but seldom more than sixteen.
Amy Sedaris
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Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny pair of shoes in the hallway or lean small wooden crutches in what I refer to as 'the baby's room,' which is actually a tiny space where I make things. I continue to call it the baby's room because it confuses people and it's creepy.
Amy Sedaris
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Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
Amy Sedaris
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although it has been said that idle hands are the devil's workshop, when it comes to teenagers, both idle and active hands are the devil's workshop.
Amy Sedaris
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I don't really consider myself to be a comedian. I mean, it's not like I'm sitting around writing jokes or anything. I just like dressing up and pretending to be other people.
Amy Sedaris
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On the off chance that you have children, don't clean up at all. As children, my brother and sister and I loved waking up early and playing cocktail party with the leftover debris
Amy Sedaris
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I'm not very good with drink recipes. If I'm entertaining, I like to come up with a house drink for the evening, one thing I'll make for the whole evening of the whole month.
Amy Sedaris
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I just like to have the ideas. Other people can help see them through.
Amy Sedaris
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Imagination! My problem is that I have so many ideas, I never have enough time to use them all. Just the other day I thought up eleven things I could do with a flowerpot. Eleven! Three of those things didn't even involve plants.
Amy Sedaris
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Begin your story with a sentence that will immediately grab hold of your listener's ears like a surly nun in a Catholic school.
Amy Sedaris
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That's why I love improvisational theater so much - you do it [scene] once and then it's done. You don't get bogged down with a lot of preplanning and repetition. If I do something and it gets a laugh, I don't want to do it again. Why bother? I'm just repeating myself. It's boring.
Amy Sedaris
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The moment someone says, 'Hey, everyone, listen to the words in this song,' your party is over.
Amy Sedaris
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I always knew I didn't want kids, and I didn't want to get married.
Amy Sedaris