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I love cop shows and crime books and thrillers, and before I die I'm gonna play a cop.
Amy Sedaris
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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Dies
Shows
Book
Play
Thrillers
Love
Cop
Gonna
Crime
Books
More quotes by Amy Sedaris
Sometimes it's just enough for me to have the idea. I don't need to see it through to the end. When it actually happens, I'm always disappointed because it's never like what I imagined in my head. When an idea becomes a reality, then it's a job. I'd rather just think about it.
Amy Sedaris
You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character actors who come in like a breath of fresh air.
Amy Sedaris
I'm always more attracted to the unattractive.
Amy Sedaris
That's why I love improvisational theater so much - you do it [scene] once and then it's done. You don't get bogged down with a lot of preplanning and repetition. If I do something and it gets a laugh, I don't want to do it again. Why bother? I'm just repeating myself. It's boring.
Amy Sedaris
I have a couple freeloader friends, but it's okay. I know they're gonna come in with their arms flying in the air empty-handed.
Amy Sedaris
That's how all theater should be done - you only have one chance to see it and then it's gone. One night only.
Amy Sedaris
I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, including a rubber turkey, which, during the holidays, I wrap in tinfoil so it appears to have just come out of the oven.
Amy Sedaris
Books are challenging and inspirational to me.
Amy Sedaris
A lot of times girls think they're funny, but they want to pretty at the same time, and if you want to be funny, you have to be willing to get ugly.
Amy Sedaris
My favorite things often have a story behind them and are usually handmade or discovered at a flea market.
Amy Sedaris
On the off chance that you have children, don't clean up at all. As children, my brother and sister and I loved waking up early and playing cocktail party with the leftover debris
Amy Sedaris
Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
Amy Sedaris
I swear I want to be a food model.
Amy Sedaris
If you see a shy person, ask them some questions like, 'Why are you so shy? Tell everyone, we're all listening.
Amy Sedaris
I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed REALLY hard.
Amy Sedaris
Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.
Amy Sedaris
I love depressing movies and depressing books.
Amy Sedaris
Crafting, or 'making things,' has always been a delightful pastime of mine because it requires putting common elements together in order to achieve a lovely something that nobody needs.
Amy Sedaris
When I meet a new person, something has to be a little off for me to consider them beautiful. It could be crooked teeth, or veins in their skin that are a little too visible, or a really dramatic lazy eye. The first guy I ever kissed had a water head.
Amy Sedaris
If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their clothes or dangling the cat out the window, they can sort of blend in. An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.
Amy Sedaris
