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I always knew I didn't want kids, and I didn't want to get married.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Didn
Kids
Always
Married
Knew

More quotes by Amy Sedaris

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If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their clothes or dangling the cat out the window, they can sort of blend in. An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.
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My characters always like themselves.
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I like it when people who aren't so attractive, or they have a whole lot of hurdles to get over, I like it when they dress up and they look presentable. That, to me, just touches me.
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I've always been drawn to people with problems. Not just physical problems, but mental problems too. Like depressed people or killers, all that stuff.
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Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny pair of shoes in the hallway or lean small wooden crutches in what I refer to as 'the baby's room,' which is actually a tiny space where I make things. I continue to call it the baby's room because it confuses people and it's creepy.
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I just like to have the ideas. Other people can help see them through.
Amy Sedaris
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I don't really consider myself to be a comedian. I mean, it's not like I'm sitting around writing jokes or anything. I just like dressing up and pretending to be other people.
Amy Sedaris
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Learn more about yourself! Make a self-esteem collage using pictures of other people you wish you were.
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People who shop in health food stores never look healthy.
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I have a couple freeloader friends, but it's okay. I know they're gonna come in with their arms flying in the air empty-handed.
Amy Sedaris
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I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time.
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I'd just much rather see an ugly person take the trash out than see somebody really pretty taking the trash out.
Amy Sedaris
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You just can't enjoy any of the movie when you're in it.
Amy Sedaris
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I love costumes. My dream growing up was always to have my own costume and prop shop.
Amy Sedaris
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I choose to do unattractive people, because then I can pretend they think they're attractive.
Amy Sedaris
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There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
Amy Sedaris
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I feel confident writing on my feet with improv, but it's different when you're sitting down and writing it out.
Amy Sedaris
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Sometimes it's just enough for me to have the idea. I don't need to see it through to the end. When it actually happens, I'm always disappointed because it's never like what I imagined in my head. When an idea becomes a reality, then it's a job. I'd rather just think about it.
Amy Sedaris
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I don't know my telephone number or anything like that, but when I do have to make a call, I just pull my body over to the side and squat. I don't want to be one of those people who are on their phone all the time.
Amy Sedaris
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But I love how people who are musical, they know how to dress.
Amy Sedaris