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A lot of times girls think they're funny, but they want to pretty at the same time, and if you want to be funny, you have to be willing to get ugly.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Willing
Pretty
Times
Funny
Girl
Time
Think
Ugly
Thinking
Girls

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I always find something to keep me busy.
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I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.
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I live in the moment.
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I try to pick music for a diner that doesnt involve a lot of lyrics, so you're not paying attention to that. As long as it doesnt dominate the party, it should be more atmosphere music. When I'm by myself, I never play music.
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I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, including a rubber turkey, which, during the holidays, I wrap in tinfoil so it appears to have just come out of the oven.
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Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
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If you decide on having an alcoholic at your party, make sure it's a large gathering. This way, until the alcoholic begins removing their clothes or dangling the cat out the window, they can sort of blend in. An alcoholic at a small gathering is called an intervention.
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I’ve named everything that I’ve ever owned. Real or inanimate, I have to give it a first and last name. Everything in my apartment comes alive at night.
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I can't imagine going to an all-girls school. I went to a public school.
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My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him.
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If I put my mind to something, it happens. I do know that's not necessarily psychic. But I always feel like there's something around me protecting me.
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Don't associate me with comedy. And please don't say actress. I would never call myself any of those things. I hate it when people call me that.
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Sometimes it's just enough for me to have the idea. I don't need to see it through to the end. When it actually happens, I'm always disappointed because it's never like what I imagined in my head. When an idea becomes a reality, then it's a job. I'd rather just think about it.
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I'd just much rather see an ugly person take the trash out than see somebody really pretty taking the trash out.
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I like it when people who aren't so attractive, or they have a whole lot of hurdles to get over, I like it when they dress up and they look presentable. That, to me, just touches me.
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I always knew I didn't want kids, and I didn't want to get married.
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Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.
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I feel confident writing on my feet with improv, but it's different when you're sitting down and writing it out.
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My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice.
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Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny pair of shoes in the hallway or lean small wooden crutches in what I refer to as 'the baby's room,' which is actually a tiny space where I make things. I continue to call it the baby's room because it confuses people and it's creepy.
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