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A lot of times girls think they're funny, but they want to pretty at the same time, and if you want to be funny, you have to be willing to get ugly.
Amy Sedaris
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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Time
Think
Ugly
Thinking
Girls
Willing
Pretty
Times
Funny
Girl
More quotes by Amy Sedaris
I'd rather have a part where you walk into a room and you leave. That's perfect for me.
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I like dramas and stuff. That's what I watch, but it seems weird that I'd be in it.
Amy Sedaris
I feel confident writing on my feet with improv, but it's different when you're sitting down and writing it out.
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I love old cookbooks. I just got such a kick out of them, how the color would be way off or fake looking. The cook books now look so much like magazines, you'll never make food that looks like that. I'd rather see it the ugly way than they way they do it now.
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I like to play unattractive people who think they're pretty. You can do what you want, but I prefer to look interesting.
Amy Sedaris
I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time.
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Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
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I've been to some funerals where there's a lot of laughing - it's about celebrating their new journey. I can't think of anything. There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
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My mother always said 'Don't bother other people.' I think that's good advice.
Amy Sedaris
Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny pair of shoes in the hallway or lean small wooden crutches in what I refer to as 'the baby's room,' which is actually a tiny space where I make things. I continue to call it the baby's room because it confuses people and it's creepy.
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I’ve named everything that I’ve ever owned. Real or inanimate, I have to give it a first and last name. Everything in my apartment comes alive at night.
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You think in a different way when you don't have any money. The joy of poverty is that you use your imagination to come up with stuff.
Amy Sedaris
I like to be around entertaining people. Even if they're bored, and you're in a convalescent home, there's something entertaining about that, in a way.
Amy Sedaris
If you cannot come to the party, do not cancel at the last minute or give a message to a child to inform the host. And don't bother explaining why you can't attend because anything after 'because' is bullshit.
Amy Sedaris
I need a costume to be convinced that I'm somebody else. Otherwise, it's just me. It's just Amy saying lines. I haven't really become somebody else. And what's the fun in that?
Amy Sedaris
It's natural for humans to suppress urges, for when our desires are left unchecked they lead to broken relationships, prison time, and forest fires.
Amy Sedaris
I wasn't a cliquey person, and I think that's because I came from a large family. I got along with everybody, and I usually got along with the people that people didn't like.
Amy Sedaris
I stayed in New York City for the first time, I'd always wanted to do that.
Amy Sedaris
I can't imagine going to an all-girls school. I went to a public school.
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There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be a hospitable person and have groups of people in your home touching your personables.
Amy Sedaris
