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I failed first grade, which is my biggest problem. You always feel like a failure, like you're stupid.

Amy Sedaris

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Amy Sedaris
Age: 63
Born: 1961
Born: March 29
Actor
Actress
Comedian
Film Actor
Novelist
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Writer
Endicott
New York
Amy Louise Sedaris
Stupid
Problem
Firsts
First
Grade
Feel
Grades
Feels
Failed
Always
Biggest
Like
Failure

More quotes by Amy Sedaris

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Most people think witches are a coven of lesbians dancing naked in the forest celebrating the semen stolen from imprisoned hypnotized males, which they then use to inseminate one another using turkey basters in order to create a legion of demon babies. Well, that's only part of it. We are also active in community outreach programs.
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As my guests leave even my most simple parties, I consistently hear the same thing: 'That was the best time I ever had,' and it's always me saying it. But I do know in my heart they all feel the same way, probably.
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If I'm creating something for myself, then I want to have fun.
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Gay guys know how to craft, and they craft really well. Straight guys, forget it.
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I love cop shows and crime books and thrillers, and before I die I'm gonna play a cop.
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I've been to some funerals where there's a lot of laughing - it's about celebrating their new journey. I can't think of anything. There's humor in everything. There's gotta be humor in everything.
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I'd just much rather see an ugly person take the trash out than see somebody really pretty taking the trash out.
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I’ve named everything that I’ve ever owned. Real or inanimate, I have to give it a first and last name. Everything in my apartment comes alive at night.
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I don't know my telephone number or anything like that, but when I do have to make a call, I just pull my body over to the side and squat. I don't want to be one of those people who are on their phone all the time.
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I like to be around entertaining people. Even if they're bored, and you're in a convalescent home, there's something entertaining about that, in a way.
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My favorite things often have a story behind them and are usually handmade or discovered at a flea market.
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When I meet a new person, something has to be a little off for me to consider them beautiful. It could be crooked teeth, or veins in their skin that are a little too visible, or a really dramatic lazy eye. The first guy I ever kissed had a water head.
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Crafting is putting ideas into action and then holding them together with an inexpensive adhesive.
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I feel confident writing on my feet with improv, but it's different when you're sitting down and writing it out.
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I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.
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That's how all theater should be done - you only have one chance to see it and then it's gone. One night only.
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I'm more of a clown, a tragic clown. Yeah. I just like humor to come out of characters.
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Don't make anybody a homemade gift. Unless you're really good, or it's going to be really practical. If it's a little thing you think is cute 'cause you made it, just forget it.
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although it has been said that idle hands are the devil's workshop, when it comes to teenagers, both idle and active hands are the devil's workshop.
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I have no desire to carry a movie.
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