Quote

The girls I grew up with they're living normal, adult lives. So they call me now and they're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still react like, 'What are you going to do? I'll drive you, I guess.

Amy Schumer

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TAGS & TOPICS

Amy Schumer
Age: 43
Born: 1981
Born: June 1
Actor
Comedian
Not Funny
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Television Producer
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Amy Beth Schumer
Living
Drive
Girl
Adults
Stills
Guess
Still
Girls
Amy
Going
Normal
React
Like
Grew
Pregnant
Call
Adult
Lives
Driving

More quotes by Amy Schumer

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I have gotten death threats - that was scary. But it just made me want to use my voice more.
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I just say what I think is the funniest thing I could say. I'm not trying to make headlines. I'm just trying to say the stuff that I think is funny and will make people laugh.
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I've done some things I'm embarrassed about, and I like to tell people about them so that maybe they feel less embarrassed or alone when they do something they're unsure about.
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I don't feel any sense of competition at all, and that might be my naïveté, but I don't feel pitted against anyone at all.
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I've got a terrible person in me just as much as anybody else, and I think - I like to think I also have a really good person in me.
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I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet - this is exciting - I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wow. I mean, just for now. Somebody's being evicted.
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I call myself a comic.But I started as an actress. I did plays since I was 5.
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I want to make women laugh. I want to make them feel beautiful in their own skin. I want to empower them to use their voice and not apologize.
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My mom made me think I was gorgeous. When I was younger she was like, 'Look at you! You're an angel. You sparkle!' And I was like, 'I do!' You believe your parents.
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I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.
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You shoot saltwater in your ass?
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You know what they say: 'Once you go black, your parents don't talk to you anymore.
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Every woman deals with sexism most every day of their lives. Growing up, it's just in your day-to-day. There are all these preconceived notions of what it means to be a woman or a girl, and straying from those ideas of femininity is sort of shocking to people. I felt angered by that as a kid. I felt like that was unjust. Like that was not right.
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The last couple of roles I missed out on went to Jennifer Hudson, Jessica Biel and Olivia Wilde.
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I tend to eat pretty healthy, though, and I work out - I work out hard.
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Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'
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The moments that make life worth living are when things are at their worst and you find a way to laugh.
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I think you can go from being not very funny to working really hard for 10 years and figuring out how to make a living on the road, but I don't think you can rise much above that.
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Want me to Stevie Wonder my way to the bathroom?
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We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.
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