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The girls I grew up with they're living normal, adult lives. So they call me now and they're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still react like, 'What are you going to do? I'll drive you, I guess.
Amy Schumer
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Amy Schumer
Age: 43
Born: 1981
Born: June 1
Actor
Comedian
Not Funny
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Television Producer
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Amy Beth Schumer
Call
Adult
Lives
Driving
Living
Drive
Girl
Adults
Stills
Guess
Still
Girls
Amy
Going
Normal
React
Like
Grew
Pregnant
More quotes by Amy Schumer
To me, feminism means equality between men and women. I want to make people laugh and also point out some injustices or inequalities I see.
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I was actually on two reality shows, which is crazy. Just to think that, out there, there was some guy, like flipping through the channels, being like, 'Hey, I 69'd her on a cruise ship.
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The last couple of roles I missed out on went to Jennifer Hudson, Jessica Biel and Olivia Wilde.
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I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will.
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I'm still proud of a lot of my jokes when I started.
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I tend to eat pretty healthy, though, and I work out - I work out hard.
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I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.
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I don't try to be feminist. I just am. It's innately inside me. I have no interest in trying to be the perfect feminist, but I do believe feminists are in good hands with me.
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It was the best night of my life, getting to dance on stage with Madonna!
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I call myself a comic.But I started as an actress. I did plays since I was 5.
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I'm not extra sensitive to handshakes. I shake hands all the time.
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The girls that I grew up with, and my friends and I, we just never had interests in common. I loved comedy. I loved Saturday Night Live, Gilda Radner, Lucille Ball, and Goldie Hawn movies. I just wanted to laugh. I liked women in comedy, and I liked male comics as I got a little older. My interests just never matched up with other girls'.
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I completely identify as female, believe it or not.
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I donated blood today. That's what I call getting an AIDS test.
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Stand-up is not something that you're good at right away. You have to do it a ton. But, I think I got to shave a year off because I didn't have to get over stage fright.
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The way that these girls keep themselves skinny is awful, isn't it? By vomiting or using hard drugs - which I can't afford.
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She's always bragging about the dumbest stuff. The other day she was telling me, she's like, 'You know I can still fit in my wedding dress.' I was like, 'Oh my god, who cares, right?' I mean it is weird that she's the same size now as she was when she was 8 months pregnant.
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Let's all just follow the lead of Glamour, and join forces and lift each other up.
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Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'
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I always did plays, I got the comedic roles in college ... or, uh, the ones that would get naked.
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