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It was the best night of my life, getting to dance on stage with Madonna!
Amy Schumer
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Amy Schumer
Age: 43
Born: 1981
Born: June 1
Actor
Comedian
Not Funny
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Television Producer
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Amy Beth Schumer
Madonna
Dance
Stage
Getting
Night
Best
Life
More quotes by Amy Schumer
Every woman deals with sexism most every day of their lives. Growing up, it's just in your day-to-day. There are all these preconceived notions of what it means to be a woman or a girl, and straying from those ideas of femininity is sort of shocking to people. I felt angered by that as a kid. I felt like that was unjust. Like that was not right.
Amy Schumer
Now every idiot from high school's like, 'I'm back!' We weren't supposed to meet again. Stop poking me and inviting me to your weird vampire parties. No, I don't want to follow you on Twatter. Like, nobody's interested in you. I don't want to see you in real life, why would I want to follow you in the imaginary one?
Amy Schumer
I think of myself as a fairly attractive girl and always have, thanks to my mom. I was brought into this world thinking I was gorgeous because my mother was extremely devoted to this notion.
Amy Schumer
You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.
Amy Schumer
I'm still proud of a lot of my jokes when I started.
Amy Schumer
I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'
Amy Schumer
I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will.
Amy Schumer
I've got a terrible person in me just as much as anybody else, and I think - I like to think I also have a really good person in me.
Amy Schumer
Comedy isn't really something where you get discovered. You can't network your way to being funny or talented. It's not hard to get seen if you're funny. If you're funny, talented, and work hard, you will go somewhere.
Amy Schumer
Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly about that.
Amy Schumer
He was really into family... He'd never come on the road with me on the weekends 'cause he wanted to spend time with his wife.
Amy Schumer
My mom made me think I was gorgeous. When I was younger she was like, 'Look at you! You're an angel. You sparkle!' And I was like, 'I do!' You believe your parents.
Amy Schumer
I have gotten death threats - that was scary. But it just made me want to use my voice more.
Amy Schumer
I feel very open with people, and I'm good at disarming them and having conversations.
Amy Schumer
I don't try to be feminist. I just am. It's innately inside me. I have no interest in trying to be the perfect feminist, but I do believe feminists are in good hands with me.
Amy Schumer
I completely identify as female, believe it or not.
Amy Schumer
I'm not sure I'd classify any topics as off-limits, but I don't look for new territories to offend. There's my joke about when my roommate beat cancer. People talk about cancer survivors like they're warriors, but from where I was sitting, she was just watching television and eating soup. Like, did she go to war? No. She kind of just sat around.
Amy Schumer
We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.
Amy Schumer
I hate false advertising, like 'Skittles: taste the rainbow.' No one's ever been like, 'Rainbow, right you guys?' Or what's Reese's? 'There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's.' Oh, really? Tell that to my uncle who used to put them in my underwear. Alright, maybe your uncles didn't love you.
Amy Schumer
Let's all just follow the lead of Glamour, and join forces and lift each other up.
Amy Schumer
