Quote

The truth is, whoever I've dated, if I've ever wanted to talk about them on stage, I've asked them first, and I've gotten their permission to tell a story or talk about them before I do it.

Amy Schumer

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TAGS & TOPICS

Amy Schumer
Age: 43
Born: 1981
Born: June 1
Actor
Comedian
Not Funny
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Television Producer
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Amy Beth Schumer
First
Talk
Story
Tell
Dated
Stories
Permission
Truth
Whoever
Ever
Gotten
Wanted
Asked
Firsts
Stage

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I have gotten death threats - that was scary. But it just made me want to use my voice more.
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I've always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor. Nothing has been forced, and I don't say anything for shock value.
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I feel very open with people, and I'm good at disarming them and having conversations.
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Comedy isn't really something where you get discovered. You can't network your way to being funny or talented. It's not hard to get seen if you're funny. If you're funny, talented, and work hard, you will go somewhere.
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I asked for a glass of Chardonnay. And in a 9/11-like twist, they didn't have any. They offered me Pinot.
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You know what they say: 'Once you go black, your parents don't talk to you anymore.
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It was the best night of my life, getting to dance on stage with Madonna!
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I only met Joan Rivers once. But when she passed away, it felt like a part of me went away, too.
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The girls I grew up with they're living normal, adult lives. So they call me now and they're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still react like, 'What are you going to do? I'll drive you, I guess.
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I've never slept with anyone who could help me at all. No one. I wish I had. If anything, everyone I've had sex with has been a real step in the wrong direction.
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I tend to eat pretty healthy, though, and I work out - I work out hard.
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Stand-up is not something that you're good at right away. You have to do it a ton. But, I think I got to shave a year off because I didn't have to get over stage fright.
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I am a hot-blooded fire and I am fearless.
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My mom's always saying really smart things... like, you probably heard this one, 'Why buy the cow when the milk has HPV?' Wish I'd listened to that one.
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I finally just slept with my high school crush. But I swear now he expects me to go to his graduation - like I know where I'm going to be in three years.
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I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.
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I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'
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The kids didn't call me Amy Schumer they called me Amy Jewmer. One summer, I'll never forget this, all the kids took turns throwing handfuls of pennies at me. I know, I was like, 'Excuse me - this is awesome!
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I'm not extra sensitive to handshakes. I shake hands all the time.
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You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.
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