Quote

I think of myself as a fairly attractive girl and always have, thanks to my mom. I was brought into this world thinking I was gorgeous because my mother was extremely devoted to this notion.

Amy Schumer

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TAGS & TOPICS

Amy Schumer
Age: 43
Born: 1981
Born: June 1
Actor
Comedian
Not Funny
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Television Producer
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Amy Beth Schumer
Brought
Gorgeous
Girl
Fairly
Mother
Devoted
Always
Extremely
Think
Attractive
Thinking
Thanks
World
Mom
Notion

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I completely identify as female, believe it or not.
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He was really into family... He'd never come on the road with me on the weekends 'cause he wanted to spend time with his wife.
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I've always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor. Nothing has been forced, and I don't say anything for shock value.
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I call myself a comic.But I started as an actress. I did plays since I was 5.
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I was actually on two reality shows, which is crazy. Just to think that, out there, there was some guy, like flipping through the channels, being like, 'Hey, I 69'd her on a cruise ship.
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I am a hot-blooded fire and I am fearless.
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Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'
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To me, feminism means equality between men and women. I want to make people laugh and also point out some injustices or inequalities I see.
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Song Sixteen Going on Seventeen is actually about syphilis.
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Comedy isn't really something where you get discovered. You can't network your way to being funny or talented. It's not hard to get seen if you're funny. If you're funny, talented, and work hard, you will go somewhere.
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I hope that the next time you go to a concert, the band doesn't play the song you wanna hear! And instead, they just play songs off their new album!
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Now every idiot from high school's like, 'I'm back!' We weren't supposed to meet again. Stop poking me and inviting me to your weird vampire parties. No, I don't want to follow you on Twatter. Like, nobody's interested in you. I don't want to see you in real life, why would I want to follow you in the imaginary one?
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I hate false advertising, like 'Skittles: taste the rainbow.' No one's ever been like, 'Rainbow, right you guys?' Or what's Reese's? 'There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's.' Oh, really? Tell that to my uncle who used to put them in my underwear. Alright, maybe your uncles didn't love you.
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I'm not extra sensitive to handshakes. I shake hands all the time.
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I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet - this is exciting - I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wow. I mean, just for now. Somebody's being evicted.
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My comedy is unapologetic and fearless. Like, sometimes you'll wind up having condomless sex with someone that you probably shouldn't. I'm interested in sharing that part of myself unapologetically so that other people will hopefully feel better.
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I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will.
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I only met Joan Rivers once. But when she passed away, it felt like a part of me went away, too.
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I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.
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I always did plays, I got the comedic roles in college ... or, uh, the ones that would get naked.
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