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My background is in theater. I was a theater major in college.
Amy Schumer
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Amy Schumer
Age: 43
Born: 1981
Born: June 1
Actor
Comedian
Not Funny
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Television Producer
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Amy Beth Schumer
Background
Backgrounds
Majors
Major
Theater
College
More quotes by Amy Schumer
I've got a terrible person in me just as much as anybody else, and I think - I like to think I also have a really good person in me.
Amy Schumer
I hope that the next time you go to a concert, the band doesn't play the song you wanna hear! And instead, they just play songs off their new album!
Amy Schumer
I just say what I think is the funniest thing I could say. I'm not trying to make headlines. I'm just trying to say the stuff that I think is funny and will make people laugh.
Amy Schumer
I've never slept with anyone who could help me at all. No one. I wish I had. If anything, everyone I've had sex with has been a real step in the wrong direction.
Amy Schumer
You shoot saltwater in your ass?
Amy Schumer
He was really into family... He'd never come on the road with me on the weekends 'cause he wanted to spend time with his wife.
Amy Schumer
I was actually on two reality shows, which is crazy. Just to think that, out there, there was some guy, like flipping through the channels, being like, 'Hey, I 69'd her on a cruise ship.
Amy Schumer
I'm not sure I'd classify any topics as off-limits, but I don't look for new territories to offend. There's my joke about when my roommate beat cancer. People talk about cancer survivors like they're warriors, but from where I was sitting, she was just watching television and eating soup. Like, did she go to war? No. She kind of just sat around.
Amy Schumer
Now every idiot from high school's like, 'I'm back!' We weren't supposed to meet again. Stop poking me and inviting me to your weird vampire parties. No, I don't want to follow you on Twatter. Like, nobody's interested in you. I don't want to see you in real life, why would I want to follow you in the imaginary one?
Amy Schumer
To me, feminism means equality between men and women. I want to make people laugh and also point out some injustices or inequalities I see.
Amy Schumer
I asked for a glass of Chardonnay. And in a 9/11-like twist, they didn't have any. They offered me Pinot.
Amy Schumer
I want to make women laugh. I want to make them feel beautiful in their own skin. I want to empower them to use their voice and not apologize.
Amy Schumer
It was the best night of my life, getting to dance on stage with Madonna!
Amy Schumer
To be really great, you need to be naturally funny in order to stand out. But you can work at it, and find the best vehicle that you have to communicate what you're saying to people.
Amy Schumer
I always did plays, I got the comedic roles in college ... or, uh, the ones that would get naked.
Amy Schumer
Let's all just follow the lead of Glamour, and join forces and lift each other up.
Amy Schumer
I'm not extra sensitive to handshakes. I shake hands all the time.
Amy Schumer
She's always bragging about the dumbest stuff. The other day she was telling me, she's like, 'You know I can still fit in my wedding dress.' I was like, 'Oh my god, who cares, right?' I mean it is weird that she's the same size now as she was when she was 8 months pregnant.
Amy Schumer
I have gotten death threats - that was scary. But it just made me want to use my voice more.
Amy Schumer
Song Sixteen Going on Seventeen is actually about syphilis.
Amy Schumer