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The last couple of roles I missed out on went to Jennifer Hudson, Jessica Biel and Olivia Wilde.
Amy Schumer
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Amy Schumer
Age: 43
Born: 1981
Born: June 1
Actor
Comedian
Not Funny
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Television Producer
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Amy Beth Schumer
Couple
Roles
Went
Hudson
Lasts
Olivia
Last
Wilde
Jessica
Jennifer
Missed
More quotes by Amy Schumer
I am a hot-blooded fire and I am fearless.
Amy Schumer
The moments that make life worth living are when things are at their worst and you find a way to laugh.
Amy Schumer
I call myself a comic.But I started as an actress. I did plays since I was 5.
Amy Schumer
The girls that I grew up with, and my friends and I, we just never had interests in common. I loved comedy. I loved Saturday Night Live, Gilda Radner, Lucille Ball, and Goldie Hawn movies. I just wanted to laugh. I liked women in comedy, and I liked male comics as I got a little older. My interests just never matched up with other girls'.
Amy Schumer
You know that show 'Teen Mom'? Or if you're from the South, 'Mom.
Amy Schumer
I think you can go from being not very funny to working really hard for 10 years and figuring out how to make a living on the road, but I don't think you can rise much above that.
Amy Schumer
Want me to Stevie Wonder my way to the bathroom?
Amy Schumer
I'm not extra sensitive to handshakes. I shake hands all the time.
Amy Schumer
I may sound like a megalomaniac, but I feel like I'm equipped to become a great, memorable comedian, if I keep working my ass off and staying at the pace I'm at, and I feel a responsibility to do that because of the women who have done it before me, and the ones who need to do it after me.
Amy Schumer
I feel very open with people, and I'm good at disarming them and having conversations.
Amy Schumer
I'll never forget the day I realized I wasn't quite the Ford model I thought I was.
Amy Schumer
I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.
Amy Schumer
I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.
Amy Schumer
I finally just slept with my high school crush. But I swear now he expects me to go to his graduation - like I know where I'm going to be in three years.
Amy Schumer
My mom is very good at being passive-aggressive, and my Dad is a total wiseass, so I think the mixture of the two of them is my comedy. But, I am definitely the first comedian in my family.
Amy Schumer
I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you, and I thank you.
Amy Schumer
I have gotten death threats - that was scary. But it just made me want to use my voice more.
Amy Schumer
She's always bragging about the dumbest stuff. The other day she was telling me, she's like, 'You know I can still fit in my wedding dress.' I was like, 'Oh my god, who cares, right?' I mean it is weird that she's the same size now as she was when she was 8 months pregnant.
Amy Schumer
I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'
Amy Schumer
We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.
Amy Schumer
