Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you, and I thank you.
Amy Schumer
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Amy Schumer
Age: 43
Born: 1981
Born: June 1
Actor
Comedian
Not Funny
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Television Producer
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Amy Beth Schumer
Thank
Weight
Sleep
Mother
More quotes by Amy Schumer
It was the best night of my life, getting to dance on stage with Madonna!
Amy Schumer
The kids didn't call me Amy Schumer they called me Amy Jewmer. One summer, I'll never forget this, all the kids took turns throwing handfuls of pennies at me. I know, I was like, 'Excuse me - this is awesome!
Amy Schumer
She's always bragging about the dumbest stuff. The other day she was telling me, she's like, 'You know I can still fit in my wedding dress.' I was like, 'Oh my god, who cares, right?' I mean it is weird that she's the same size now as she was when she was 8 months pregnant.
Amy Schumer
I donated blood today. That's what I call getting an AIDS test.
Amy Schumer
I have gotten death threats - that was scary. But it just made me want to use my voice more.
Amy Schumer
I'll never forget the day I realized I wasn't quite the Ford model I thought I was.
Amy Schumer
I only met Joan Rivers once. But when she passed away, it felt like a part of me went away, too.
Amy Schumer
You know that show 'Teen Mom'? Or if you're from the South, 'Mom.
Amy Schumer
I call myself a comic.But I started as an actress. I did plays since I was 5.
Amy Schumer
I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet - this is exciting - I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wow. I mean, just for now. Somebody's being evicted.
Amy Schumer
He was really into family... He'd never come on the road with me on the weekends 'cause he wanted to spend time with his wife.
Amy Schumer
I want to keep working really hard at getting better at stand-up and touring, and I can't imagine a time when I won't want to do that. But, who knows?
Amy Schumer
I'm not sure I'd classify any topics as off-limits, but I don't look for new territories to offend. There's my joke about when my roommate beat cancer. People talk about cancer survivors like they're warriors, but from where I was sitting, she was just watching television and eating soup. Like, did she go to war? No. She kind of just sat around.
Amy Schumer
I only wear heels when it's 100-percent required, and even sometimes not then. I have to talk myself into a bra. I've done an hour of standup where I've been like, I don't have to wear a bra tonight. If you're going to be on camera, you have to get it together, but other than that, I am pretty lazy as a woman.
Amy Schumer
I understand why so many female comics quit or change their path, because it is hard. It's hard to be a comedian, and people have so much aggression towards women. I don't really know where that comes from, but I feel a total responsibility, and I'm gonna do my part, to continue on the path that I'm on.
Amy Schumer
Comedy isn't really something where you get discovered. You can't network your way to being funny or talented. It's not hard to get seen if you're funny. If you're funny, talented, and work hard, you will go somewhere.
Amy Schumer
The moments that make life worth living are when things are at their worst and you find a way to laugh.
Amy Schumer
I care about what the people I care about think about me. It's a short list, but I really care about what those people think.
Amy Schumer
The last couple of roles I missed out on went to Jennifer Hudson, Jessica Biel and Olivia Wilde.
Amy Schumer
I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.
Amy Schumer
