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I only met Joan Rivers once. But when she passed away, it felt like a part of me went away, too.
Amy Schumer
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Amy Schumer
Age: 43
Born: 1981
Born: June 1
Actor
Comedian
Not Funny
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Television Producer
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Amy Beth Schumer
Mets
Went
Felt
Away
Part
Like
Joan
Passed
Rivers
More quotes by Amy Schumer
I understand why so many female comics quit or change their path, because it is hard. It's hard to be a comedian, and people have so much aggression towards women. I don't really know where that comes from, but I feel a total responsibility, and I'm gonna do my part, to continue on the path that I'm on.
Amy Schumer
I donated blood today. That's what I call getting an AIDS test.
Amy Schumer
It was the best night of my life, getting to dance on stage with Madonna!
Amy Schumer
I've always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor. Nothing has been forced, and I don't say anything for shock value.
Amy Schumer
To be really great, you need to be naturally funny in order to stand out. But you can work at it, and find the best vehicle that you have to communicate what you're saying to people.
Amy Schumer
I've done some things I'm embarrassed about, and I like to tell people about them so that maybe they feel less embarrassed or alone when they do something they're unsure about.
Amy Schumer
I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you, and I thank you.
Amy Schumer
I don't feel any sense of competition at all, and that might be my naïveté, but I don't feel pitted against anyone at all.
Amy Schumer
I'll never forget the day I realized I wasn't quite the Ford model I thought I was.
Amy Schumer
The kids didn't call me Amy Schumer they called me Amy Jewmer. One summer, I'll never forget this, all the kids took turns throwing handfuls of pennies at me. I know, I was like, 'Excuse me - this is awesome!
Amy Schumer
You know what they say: 'Once you go black, your parents don't talk to you anymore.
Amy Schumer
Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.
Amy Schumer
The way that these girls keep themselves skinny is awful, isn't it? By vomiting or using hard drugs - which I can't afford.
Amy Schumer
The girls that I grew up with, and my friends and I, we just never had interests in common. I loved comedy. I loved Saturday Night Live, Gilda Radner, Lucille Ball, and Goldie Hawn movies. I just wanted to laugh. I liked women in comedy, and I liked male comics as I got a little older. My interests just never matched up with other girls'.
Amy Schumer
Want me to Stevie Wonder my way to the bathroom?
Amy Schumer
I tend to eat pretty healthy, though, and I work out - I work out hard.
Amy Schumer
Song Sixteen Going on Seventeen is actually about syphilis.
Amy Schumer
I was actually on two reality shows, which is crazy. Just to think that, out there, there was some guy, like flipping through the channels, being like, 'Hey, I 69'd her on a cruise ship.
Amy Schumer
I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.
Amy Schumer
I hope that the next time you go to a concert, the band doesn't play the song you wanna hear! And instead, they just play songs off their new album!
Amy Schumer
