Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
My mom made me think I was gorgeous. When I was younger she was like, 'Look at you! You're an angel. You sparkle!' And I was like, 'I do!' You believe your parents.
Amy Schumer
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Amy Schumer
Age: 43
Born: 1981
Born: June 1
Actor
Comedian
Not Funny
Podcaster
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Director
Television Producer
Writer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Amy Beth Schumer
Look
Sparkle
Looks
Gorgeous
Made
Younger
Believe
Mom
Think
Angel
Thinking
Daughter
Like
Parents
Parent
More quotes by Amy Schumer
I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.
Amy Schumer
Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.
Amy Schumer
Song Sixteen Going on Seventeen is actually about syphilis.
Amy Schumer
I hope that the next time you go to a concert, the band doesn't play the song you wanna hear! And instead, they just play songs off their new album!
Amy Schumer
I'm not sure I'd classify any topics as off-limits, but I don't look for new territories to offend. There's my joke about when my roommate beat cancer. People talk about cancer survivors like they're warriors, but from where I was sitting, she was just watching television and eating soup. Like, did she go to war? No. She kind of just sat around.
Amy Schumer
I just want to get the most money I can.
Amy Schumer
It was the best night of my life, getting to dance on stage with Madonna!
Amy Schumer
You know that show 'Teen Mom'? Or if you're from the South, 'Mom.
Amy Schumer
The last couple of roles I missed out on went to Jennifer Hudson, Jessica Biel and Olivia Wilde.
Amy Schumer
Stand-up is not something that you're good at right away. You have to do it a ton. But, I think I got to shave a year off because I didn't have to get over stage fright.
Amy Schumer
Very neat for a boy always cleaned up his mess, no matter where he got it on me. He's Hispanic, so he's like, 'Now who's the wetback?' I'm like, 'Hey, still you. Get back in the kitchen, those dishes aren't going to do themselves.
Amy Schumer
My mom's always saying really smart things... like, you probably heard this one, 'Why buy the cow when the milk has HPV?' Wish I'd listened to that one.
Amy Schumer
Whatever the joke is has to be funny, and not coming from a mean-spirited place. I think some things are totally off limits. If someone's spouse died, or one of their children, I would never joke about that in a Roast situation. I don't have any aspirations towards writing any cancer jokes, and there's some stuff that I think is definitely taboo.
Amy Schumer
My background is in theater. I was a theater major in college.
Amy Schumer
I'm still proud of a lot of my jokes when I started.
Amy Schumer
I tend to eat pretty healthy, though, and I work out - I work out hard.
Amy Schumer
My comedy is unapologetic and fearless. Like, sometimes you'll wind up having condomless sex with someone that you probably shouldn't. I'm interested in sharing that part of myself unapologetically so that other people will hopefully feel better.
Amy Schumer
I've got a terrible person in me just as much as anybody else, and I think - I like to think I also have a really good person in me.
Amy Schumer
Want me to Stevie Wonder my way to the bathroom?
Amy Schumer
I just say what I think is the funniest thing I could say. I'm not trying to make headlines. I'm just trying to say the stuff that I think is funny and will make people laugh.
Amy Schumer