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Telling me to relax or smile when I'm angry is like bringing a birthday cake into an ape sanctuary. You're just asking to get your nose and genitals bitten off.
Amy Poehler
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Amy Poehler
Age: 53
Born: 1971
Born: September 16
Actress
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Director
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Newton
Massachusetts
Amy Meredith Poehler
Please
Noses
Like
Bringing
Relax
Genitals
Birthday
Bitten
Smile
Apes
Telling
Sanctuary
Angry
Nose
Asking
Cake
More quotes by Amy Poehler
A top McCain policy adviser claimed this week that McCain's work in the Senate helped create the BlackBerry, saying, 'You're looking at the miracle that John McCain helped create.' He then handed the BlackBerry to McCain, who attempted to withdraw $20 from it.
Amy Poehler
I think if I have established anything in my book, it's that a key element of being my friend is being comfortable with my forced fun.
Amy Poehler
Your ability to navigate and tolerate change and its painful uncomfortablene ss directly correlates to your happiness and general well-being. See what I just did there? I saved you thousands of dollars on self-help books. If you can surf your life rather than plant your feet, you will be happier.
Amy Poehler
If the goal is doing good stuff and working with your friends ... if you’re doing that then you’re succeeding.
Amy Poehler
You have to be where you are to get where you need to go.
Amy Poehler
Sleep and I do not have a good relationship. We have never been good friends. I am constantly chasing sleep and then pushing it away. A good night's sleep is my white whale. Like Ahab, I am also a total drama queen about it. I love to talk about how little sleep I get. I brag about it, as if it is a true indication of how hard I work.
Amy Poehler
Please don't drive drunk, okay? Seriously... But by all means, walk drunk. That looks hilarious. Everyone loves to watch someone act like they are trying to make it to safety during a hurricane.
Amy Poehler
Sleep is out... tired is the new black.
Amy Poehler
It is time to leave. Oprah has spoken.
Amy Poehler
I don't watch a lot of comedy. For relaxation and escape, I watch shows about how people survive bear attacks. Or old episodes of 'Law and Order,' the Benjamin Bratt/Jerry Orbach era.
Amy Poehler
You can't stand around and wait to be asked to dance.
Amy Poehler
Change is the only constant. Learn to surf your life instead of planting your feet.
Amy Poehler
You have to care about how good you are and how good you feel, but not about how good people think you are or how good people think you look.
Amy Poehler
I don't think a man who is fifteen years younger than me should tell me he is proud of me unless he is my sober coach or my time-travel dad.
Amy Poehler
I have these meetings with really powerful men and they ask me all the time, 'Where are your kids? Are your kids here?' It's such a weird question. Never in a million years do I ask guys where their kids are. It would be comparable to me going to a guy, 'Do you feel like you see your kids enough?'
Amy Poehler
According to Washington insiders, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan could be the next official to leave the Bush administration. McClellan says he'd like to spend more time lying for his family
Amy Poehler
It's interesting that people always want to ask me and a lot of working mothers, how do you do it? And it's like well, just like everybody else. It proves it's a bad question.
Amy Poehler
New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin said that New Orleans, when rebuilt, will be a chocolate city. And he will be the delicious nut in the center.
Amy Poehler
Some people get in the way of change happening. Some people spend their whole careers thinking they can make a difference. Other people want to do as little as possible to get the day done.
Amy Poehler
I've grown tired of smoke and mirrors. I yearn for the clean, well-lighted place.
Amy Poehler