Quote

One of the benefits of being divorced is that you no longer need to listen to your ex's assessment of the appropriateness of your actions.

Amy Dickinson

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Amy Dickinson
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: November 6
Columnist
Freeville
New York
Action
Appropriateness
Women
Assessment
Need
Exes
Needs
Divorced
Actions
Benefits
Listen
Longer

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This is a tough situation. But it is what it is, and time has an amazing way of knitting together solutions as long as everybody stays calm and resolves to be as gentle and patient as possible.
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Ask 10 people about their family relationships and at least five of them will report an estrangement.
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The fullness of life is incubated in its messy places.
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One of the privileges of adulthood is that your parents don't get to tell you what to do.
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Do not make your current partner pay for the crimes and misdemeanors of your previous partners.
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Friends tell the truth to one another. Friends don't slam the door to correction or reflection when it is offered with affection.
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You need to start behaving like the person you want to attract.
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In the name of friendship you should make sure your door is always open to listen. Don't feel you need to provide unsolicited possible solutions, answers or even ideas. Listening without judgment and offering assistance when asked should be enough. That's friendship's high calling.
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You should not propose marriage until you have resolved your feelings about your ex.
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Couples who have been together for a long time say the key to staying together is to work as a team toward the greater good, tolerating some tough (even tragic) times to grow together and work toward a mature kind of union.
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If you miss one moment of enjoying your own life and relationships because you're trying to punish someone else, the bad guy wins.
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