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If nothing changes, you will have to put your disappointment in perspective.

Amy Dickinson

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Amy Dickinson
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: November 6
Columnist
Freeville
New York
Changes
Perspective
Women
Nothing
Disappointment

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I think that, on some level, everybody lives vicariously through couples who are getting married.
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You should not be hovering in the background, inflating the drama. Simply envelop him in love and affection and let him know that you will support his efforts, whatever they are.
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Perspective is the enemy of long-lost love.
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Bullies often act out by marshaling aggression to cover up for insecurity.
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Absence really can make the heart grow fonder, even when the [man's] feet wander.
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Your job in life is to look after yourself and to find ways to get what you need - emotionally and otherwise - so that you live your best possible life, without being mired in anger and hurt over the past.
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Have you ever noticed how bored people are also boring?
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Individuals who are uncomfortable with themselves sometimes emit vibes that make others uncomfortable.
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Nags nag because they feel they aren't being heard.
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[from a reader] I hope she learns to look for the joy in life instead of picking out negatives - it will change her life for the better.
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We are not our best intentions. We are what we do.
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People who are combative in one relationship tend to be combative in other relationships.
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If you turn the heat down on the relationship, she will soften, the tension will lessen, and she will eventually inch closer to you. Don't go in for the hug until you achieve a handshake.
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This is a tough situation. But it is what it is, and time has an amazing way of knitting together solutions as long as everybody stays calm and resolves to be as gentle and patient as possible.
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Being alone is almost always preferable to being with the wrong person.
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We human beings are definitely capable of loving more than one person, but it seems to go more smoothly if we don't love more than one person at a time.
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Mature people must find their own ways to cope with their own temptations.
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You must give and receive love only when doing so doesn't hurt others. That's the ethical path, and you should gain strength from walking it.
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When someone repeatedly insists that something isn't true, it increases the likelihood that it is.
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In the name of friendship you should make sure your door is always open to listen. Don't feel you need to provide unsolicited possible solutions, answers or even ideas. Listening without judgment and offering assistance when asked should be enough. That's friendship's high calling.
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