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Healthy boundaries are important, but you may be building a brick wall when a picket fence would do.

Amy Dickinson

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Amy Dickinson
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: November 6
Columnist
Freeville
New York
Wall
Building
Women
Picket
May
Brick
Important
Bricks
Would
Fence
Boundaries
Healthy

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Marriage is an intimate relationship between two people. It is a bad idea to involve a third party.
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If you turn the heat down on the relationship, she will soften, the tension will lessen, and she will eventually inch closer to you. Don't go in for the hug until you achieve a handshake.
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Perspective is the enemy of long-lost love.
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If people thought more, we'd all have less to amuse us.
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[from a reader] I hope she learns to look for the joy in life instead of picking out negatives - it will change her life for the better.
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One downside of being an optimist is that optimistic people tend to forget yesterday's trauma in the belief that everything will turn out well. This can keep people in bad relationships because they genuinely believe that things will always improve.
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There is true freedom in letting go.
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Couples who have been together for a long time say the key to staying together is to work as a team toward the greater good, tolerating some tough (even tragic) times to grow together and work toward a mature kind of union.
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We human beings are definitely capable of loving more than one person, but it seems to go more smoothly if we don't love more than one person at a time.
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We are not our best intentions. We are what we do.
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Friendships can survive after massive disappointment, but only if both parties are honest with one another.
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You should not propose marriage until you have resolved your feelings about your ex.
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The fullness of life is incubated in its messy places.
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If you miss one moment of enjoying your own life and relationships because you're trying to punish someone else, the bad guy wins.
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[from a reader] Whenever I feel myself resenting someone, I reach out. I have made good friends that way.
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I believe that everyone deserves love, and sometimes looking outside your own culture is a good way to find it.
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A threat is a promise followed by a consequence.
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One of the benefits of being divorced is that you no longer need to listen to your ex's assessment of the appropriateness of your actions.
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You should not be hovering in the background, inflating the drama. Simply envelop him in love and affection and let him know that you will support his efforts, whatever they are.
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If you feel guilty about not playing nice, then you could easily alleviate your guilt by playing nice.
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