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Healthy boundaries are important, but you may be building a brick wall when a picket fence would do.

Amy Dickinson

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Amy Dickinson
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: November 6
Columnist
Freeville
New York
Would
Fence
Boundaries
Healthy
Wall
Building
Women
Picket
May
Brick
Important
Bricks

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When someone repeatedly insists that something isn't true, it increases the likelihood that it is.
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People who are combative in one relationship tend to be combative in other relationships.
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Single parenthood is hard, but it's simple too. You just do everything yourself.
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If you turn the heat down on the relationship, she will soften, the tension will lessen, and she will eventually inch closer to you. Don't go in for the hug until you achieve a handshake.
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One downside of being an optimist is that optimistic people tend to forget yesterday's trauma in the belief that everything will turn out well. This can keep people in bad relationships because they genuinely believe that things will always improve.
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When you are wondering whether to say something negative about someone - even if it is true - the best rule to follow is, I'll think about doing this tomorrow.
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When you're a single parent, you're often lonely, yet seldom alone. There is no backup ... It is mothering without a net.
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You cannot tie your fiance to the railroad track of self-reflection and personal improvement.
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[from a reader] Whenever I feel myself resenting someone, I reach out. I have made good friends that way.
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Groveling for connection from someone who compares you to Hitler is not good for a person's self-esteem.
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Sometimes the way through someone's tough outer shell is to do something obvious, thoughtful and sweet.
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Almost any group of three is going to form a triangle, with two points closer to one another.
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Don't be stupid! is excellent advice.
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Being inclusive sometimes means being kind toward people whose views are repugnant. But you should only do so if it is physically and emotionally safe for you.
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This is a tough situation. But it is what it is, and time has an amazing way of knitting together solutions as long as everybody stays calm and resolves to be as gentle and patient as possible.
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Life is weird. And guess what makes it weird? People.
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You cannot beat the clock. My advice is to grab your moments of grace and enjoy them while they last.
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In life, you don't get instant satisfaction. In life, you get to slog. You work. You grow. You take the long view. You fill the void with self-actualization.
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When the choice is between a demanding relationship and a vintage pickup truck, I'll choose the truck every time.
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Love is an irrational force, making humans do all sorts of strange and wonderful things like write poetry and take up the ukulele.
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