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Couples who have been together for a long time say the key to staying together is to work as a team toward the greater good, tolerating some tough (even tragic) times to grow together and work toward a mature kind of union.

Amy Dickinson

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Amy Dickinson
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: November 6
Columnist
Freeville
New York
Kind
Grows
Union
Good
Greater
Unions
Time
Times
Keys
Tolerating
Together
Toward
Women
Tough
Couples
Even
Couple
Mature
Work
Grow
Tragic
Long
Team
Staying

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One person gets to decide if something is a problem in a relationship.
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Sometimes the way through someone's tough outer shell is to do something obvious, thoughtful and sweet.
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Bullies often act out by marshaling aggression to cover up for insecurity.
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The fullness of life is incubated in its messy places.
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If you turn the heat down on the relationship, she will soften, the tension will lessen, and she will eventually inch closer to you. Don't go in for the hug until you achieve a handshake.
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If nothing changes, you will have to put your disappointment in perspective.
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This is a tough situation. But it is what it is, and time has an amazing way of knitting together solutions as long as everybody stays calm and resolves to be as gentle and patient as possible.
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Being alone is almost always preferable to being with the wrong person.
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He sounds like someone who might best be loved from a distance.
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If people thought more, we'd all have less to amuse us.
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You should not be hovering in the background, inflating the drama. Simply envelop him in love and affection and let him know that you will support his efforts, whatever they are.
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One of the privileges of adulthood is that your parents don't get to tell you what to do.
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When the choice is between a demanding relationship and a vintage pickup truck, I'll choose the truck every time.
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When you are criticizing someone, you should speak only to your own experience - not others'.
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You cannot beat the clock. My advice is to grab your moments of grace and enjoy them while they last.
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Mature people must find their own ways to cope with their own temptations.
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[from a reader] I hope she learns to look for the joy in life instead of picking out negatives - it will change her life for the better.
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When someone repeatedly insists that something isn't true, it increases the likelihood that it is.
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All promises are empty - until they are fulfilled.
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