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Absence really can make the heart grow fonder, even when the [man's] feet wander.
Amy Dickinson
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Amy Dickinson
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: November 6
Columnist
Freeville
New York
Even
Heart
Fonder
Really
Wander
Make
Absence
Men
Grow
Feet
Grows
Women
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Your job in life is to look after yourself and to find ways to get what you need - emotionally and otherwise - so that you live your best possible life, without being mired in anger and hurt over the past.
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Sometimes toxic people are so resistant to change that therapy does not really help them - but they send everybody else into therapy to find ways to cope.
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If you feel guilty about not playing nice, then you could easily alleviate your guilt by playing nice.
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Perspective is the enemy of long-lost love.
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Bullies often act out by marshaling aggression to cover up for insecurity.
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You must give and receive love only when doing so doesn't hurt others. That's the ethical path, and you should gain strength from walking it.
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Groveling for connection from someone who compares you to Hitler is not good for a person's self-esteem.
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Being inclusive sometimes means being kind toward people whose views are repugnant. But you should only do so if it is physically and emotionally safe for you.
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In the name of friendship you should make sure your door is always open to listen. Don't feel you need to provide unsolicited possible solutions, answers or even ideas. Listening without judgment and offering assistance when asked should be enough. That's friendship's high calling.
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You cannot tie your fiance to the railroad track of self-reflection and personal improvement.
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Healthy boundaries are important, but you may be building a brick wall when a picket fence would do.
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I think that, on some level, everybody lives vicariously through couples who are getting married.
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When someone repeatedly insists that something isn't true, it increases the likelihood that it is.
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