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The Chinese model calls for giving your kids very little choice - and I've come to see that you can go too far with that. On the other hand, I also believe that Western parents sometimes give their young kids too much choice.
Amy Chua
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Amy Chua
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: October 26
Economist
Lawyer
Professor
University Teacher
Writer
Champaign
Illinois
Amy L. Chua
Sometimes
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Chinese
Giving
Kids
Western
Much
Also
Models
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Young
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Littles
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More quotes by Amy Chua
Questioning authority is, I think, a great thing to instill in children. I just didn't have enough of that when I was little.
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Oddly enough, I'm not a particularly judgmental person. I just don't have a lot of filtering when I'm in 'tiger mother' mode. I say what comes into my head.
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But just because you love something, I added to myself, doesn't mean you'll ever be great. Not if you don't work. Most people stink at the things they love.
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There are all kinds of psychological disorders in the West that don't exist in Asia.
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I'm a proud strict mom and, you know, I'm really proud of the two daughters I've raised. And I'm especially proud of my relationship with them. We're very close. I think we're good friends.
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When I'm not the Tiger Mom, I'm a professor at Yale Law School, and if one thing is clear to me from years of teaching, it's that there are many ways to produce fabulous kids. I have amazing students some of them have strict parents, others have lenient parents, and many come from family situations that defy easy description.
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Parenting cannot just be one size fits all.
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Instilling a sense of self-discipline and focus when the kids are younger makes it so much easier by the time they get into high school.
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I'm suggesting that, ironically, the secret to becoming a world 'hyperpower' is tolerance. If you look at history, you see great powers being very tolerant in their rise to global dominance.
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As a purely mathematical fact, people who sleep less live more.
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I do believe that when your child does poorly on a test, your first step should not necessarily be to attack the teacher or the school's curriculum. It should be to look at the idea that, maybe, the child didn't work hard enough.
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Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything.
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Genghis Khan decreed religious tolerance for all of his conquered peoples. So I think he definitely would approve of our constitutional protections of freedom of religion. I think he would also approve of the way the U.S. has been able to attract talented people from all over the world.
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A lot of parents today are terrified that something they say to their children might make them 'feel bad.' But, hey, if they've done something wrong, they should feel bad. Kids with a sense of responsibility, not entitlement, who know when to experience gratitude and humility, will be better at navigating the social shoals of college.
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Do you know what a foreign accent is? It's a sign of bravery.
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The truth is I'm not good at enjoying life.
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Happiness is not always through success. Equally, the constant pursuit of success is sure unhappiness. But we have to find the balance. My own thoughts are that parenting is very personal. And we all feel enormous insecurity about parenting. What are they going to think of us 20 years down the line?
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There's something suspicious about saying, 'I'm just going to leave my child alone and let her pursue her passions.' You know what? I think most 13-year-olds' passion is sitting in front of the TV, or doing Facebook, or surfing the Internet for hours.
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Some parents let their kids sleep at other people's houses, where they drink alcohol, watch TV for hours and God knows what else. But if you say you have to get all A's and practice the violin for two hours, then they consider that abusive. That upsets me.
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I think the biggest difference is that I've noticed Western parents seem much more concerned about their children's psyches, their self-esteem, whereas tough immigrant parents assume strength rather than fragility in their children and therefore behave completely differently.
Amy Chua