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The Chinese model calls for giving your kids very little choice - and I've come to see that you can go too far with that. On the other hand, I also believe that Western parents sometimes give their young kids too much choice.
Amy Chua
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Amy Chua
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: October 26
Economist
Lawyer
Professor
University Teacher
Writer
Champaign
Illinois
Amy L. Chua
Giving
Kids
Western
Much
Also
Models
Believe
Young
Choice
Give
Parents
Littles
Parent
Little
Hand
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Chinese
More quotes by Amy Chua
I do believe that when your child does poorly on a test, your first step should not necessarily be to attack the teacher or the school's curriculum. It should be to look at the idea that, maybe, the child didn't work hard enough.
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Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything.
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All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that.
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Everything I do as a mother builds on a foundation of love and compassion.
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A lot of parents today are terrified that something they say to their children might make them 'feel bad.' But, hey, if they've done something wrong, they should feel bad. Kids with a sense of responsibility, not entitlement, who know when to experience gratitude and humility, will be better at navigating the social shoals of college.
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Some parents let their kids sleep at other people's houses, where they drink alcohol, watch TV for hours and God knows what else. But if you say you have to get all A's and practice the violin for two hours, then they consider that abusive. That upsets me.
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There's nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn't.
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I kind of - I like my life, I feel I have lots of opportunities. And my parents actually having had such high expectations for me - I would say it's the greatest gift that anyone has ever given me. I complained a lot when I was little, but that's how I feel now. And that's why I tried to do the same with my two daughters.
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I worry that by losing my temper so much and being so harsh and yelling so much that, by example, I will have taught my daughters to be that way, and I'm now constantly telling them not to do that.
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I think the biggest difference is that I've noticed Western parents seem much more concerned about their children's psyches, their self-esteem, whereas tough immigrant parents assume strength rather than fragility in their children and therefore behave completely differently.
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I think there are many ways to raise great kids. From what I can tell, Ayelet Waldman's kids are interesting, strong, and happy, and if that's the case, that's good parenting.
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When I'm not the Tiger Mom, I'm a professor at Yale Law School, and if one thing is clear to me from years of teaching, it's that there are many ways to produce fabulous kids. I have amazing students some of them have strict parents, others have lenient parents, and many come from family situations that defy easy description.
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Parenting cannot just be one size fits all.
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You can't invent Google, Facebook or the iPod unless you've mastered the basics, are willing to put in long hours and can pick yourself up from the floor when life knocks you down the first 10 times.
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To be honest, I know that a lot of Asian parents are secretly shocked and horrified by many aspects of Western parenting.
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There are all kinds of psychological disorders in the West that don't exist in Asia.
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My dogs can't do anything--and what a relief. I don't make any demands of them, and I don't try to shape them or their future. For the most part, I trust them to make the right choices for themselves. I always look forward to seeing them, and I love just watching them sleep. What a great relationship.
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I do play tennis, but I don't really like competition. I'm supposed to be so intense, but I hate competition.
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Instilling a sense of self-discipline and focus when the kids are younger makes it so much easier by the time they get into high school.
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I'm a proud strict mom and, you know, I'm really proud of the two daughters I've raised. And I'm especially proud of my relationship with them. We're very close. I think we're good friends.
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