Quote

Don't assume your child is weak. If you, the parent, assume that they can't take anymore, what kind of signal are you sending them?

Amy Chua

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Amy Chua
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: October 26
Economist
Lawyer
Professor
University Teacher
Writer
Champaign
Illinois
Amy L. Chua
Assuming
Anymore
Weak
Parent
Child
Signal
Take
Sending
Children
Signals
Kind
Assume

More quotes by Amy Chua

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When I'm not the Tiger Mom, I'm a professor at Yale Law School, and if one thing is clear to me from years of teaching, it's that there are many ways to produce fabulous kids. I have amazing students some of them have strict parents, others have lenient parents, and many come from family situations that defy easy description.
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Everything I've ever done that's valuable is something I was afraid to try.
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A lot of parents today are terrified that something they say to their children might make them 'feel bad.' But, hey, if they've done something wrong, they should feel bad. Kids with a sense of responsibility, not entitlement, who know when to experience gratitude and humility, will be better at navigating the social shoals of college.
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When my kids wanted to give up on things, I wouldn't let them, and those are lifelong lessons.
Amy Chua
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I do play tennis, but I don't really like competition. I'm supposed to be so intense, but I hate competition.
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I worry that by losing my temper so much and being so harsh and yelling so much that, by example, I will have taught my daughters to be that way, and I'm now constantly telling them not to do that.
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The Chinese model calls for giving your kids very little choice - and I've come to see that you can go too far with that. On the other hand, I also believe that Western parents sometimes give their young kids too much choice.
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Instilling a sense of self-discipline and focus when the kids are younger makes it so much easier by the time they get into high school.
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To be honest, I know that a lot of Asian parents are secretly shocked and horrified by many aspects of Western parenting.
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Real self-esteem has to be earned. I also believe in virtuous circles, like, nothing is fun until you are good at it. It is great if you can instill in children the ability to not give up, to have a work ethic.
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I see my upbringing as a great success story. By disciplining me, my parents inculcated self-discipline. And by restricting my choices as a child, they gave me so many choices in my life as an adult. Because of what they did then, I get to do the work I love now.
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Do you know what a foreign accent is? It's a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua
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Unlike Western parents, reminding my child of Lord Voldemort didn't bother me.
Amy Chua
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Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything.
Amy Chua
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I think the biggest difference is that I've noticed Western parents seem much more concerned about their children's psyches, their self-esteem, whereas tough immigrant parents assume strength rather than fragility in their children and therefore behave completely differently.
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You can't invent Google, Facebook or the iPod unless you've mastered the basics, are willing to put in long hours and can pick yourself up from the floor when life knocks you down the first 10 times.
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For my senior prom, my father finally said I could go - as long as I was home by 9pm! That was around the time that most people were heading out. When I was little I was so mad at them all the time. Why can't I do this? Why are there so many rules? But looking back now, my parents gave me the foundation to have so many choices in life.
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I once won a second prize in a history concert. My parents came to the ceremony. Somebody else had won the prize for best all-around student. Afterwards my father said to me, 'Never, ever disgrace me like that again.' When I tell my Western friends, they are aghast. But I adore my father. It didn't knock my self-esteem at all.
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We all want to do the right thing for our children. We all don't know what that is and we all - you know, you won't know until the future.
Amy Chua
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Every day that you don't practice is a day you're getting worse.
Amy Chua