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Real self-esteem has to be earned. I also believe in virtuous circles, like, nothing is fun until you are good at it. It is great if you can instill in children the ability to not give up, to have a work ethic.

Amy Chua

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Amy Chua
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: October 26
Economist
Lawyer
Professor
University Teacher
Writer
Champaign
Illinois
Amy L. Chua
Work
Also
Ethic
Believe
Give
Earned
Good
Nothing
Virtuous
Like
Self
Circles
Giving
Esteem
Children
Ethics
Real
Fun
Great
Ability
Instill

More quotes by Amy Chua

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To be honest, I know that a lot of Asian parents are secretly shocked and horrified by many aspects of Western parenting.
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Every day that you don't practice is a day you're getting worse.
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My youngest sister, Cindy, has Down syndrome, and I remember my mother spending hours and hours with her, teaching her to tie her shoelaces on her own, drilling multiplication tables with Cindy, practicing piano every day with her. No one expected Cindy to get a Ph.D.! But my mom wanted her to be the best she could be, within her limits.
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All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that.
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Both of my girls have very high self-esteem because they were both able to master certain things I should think that's good for their confidence.
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I kind of - I like my life, I feel I have lots of opportunities. And my parents actually having had such high expectations for me - I would say it's the greatest gift that anyone has ever given me. I complained a lot when I was little, but that's how I feel now. And that's why I tried to do the same with my two daughters.
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Nothing is fun until you're good at it.
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Most things are difficult at the beginning and they become fun, something you love, only after you've worked at them.
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Tiger parenting is all about raising independent, creative, courageous kids. In America today, there's a dangerous tendency to romanticize creativity in a way that may undermine it.
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I do believe that when your child does poorly on a test, your first step should not necessarily be to attack the teacher or the school's curriculum. It should be to look at the idea that, maybe, the child didn't work hard enough.
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When my kids wanted to give up on things, I wouldn't let them, and those are lifelong lessons.
Amy Chua
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The Chinese model calls for giving your kids very little choice - and I've come to see that you can go too far with that. On the other hand, I also believe that Western parents sometimes give their young kids too much choice.
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Don't assume your child is weak. If you, the parent, assume that they can't take anymore, what kind of signal are you sending them?
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Kids raised to be pampered and spoiled don't really end up being good leaders. Leaders need to be independent minded and confident.
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Instilling a sense of self-discipline and focus when the kids are younger makes it so much easier by the time they get into high school.
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I was raised, myself, by extremely strict but also extremely loving Chinese immigrant parents. To this day, I believe that their having high expectations for me, coupled with love, was the greatest gift that anyone's ever given me. And so that's why, even though my husband is not Chinese, I try to raise my own two daughters the same way.
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Everything I do as a mother builds on a foundation of love and compassion.
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Westerners often laud their children as 'talented' or 'gifted', while Asian parents highlight the importance of hard work. And in fact, research performed by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck has found that the way parents offer approval affects the way children perform, even the way they feel about themselves.
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I see my upbringing as a great success story. By disciplining me, my parents inculcated self-discipline. And by restricting my choices as a child, they gave me so many choices in my life as an adult. Because of what they did then, I get to do the work I love now.
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You know, parenting is so personal. And we're all afraid that we didn't quite get it right. And it feels like the stakes are so high. By we - what if we made a mistake?
Amy Chua