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IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Impostor
Rival
Honors
Rivals
Honor
Public
Aspirant

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WIDOW, n. A pathetic figure that the Christian world has agreed to take humorously, although Christ's tenderness towards widows was one of the most marked features of his character.
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OPIATE, n. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
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Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
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Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
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NECTAR, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient.
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A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the buffone, or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape for the clown himself imitated the serious characters of the play.
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CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.
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Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
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Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.
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Duck-bill, n. Your account at your restaurant during the canvas-back season.
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GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
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War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
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PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.
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Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic
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NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob's-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, with angels ascending and descending.
Ambrose Bierce
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OPERA, n. A play representing life in another world, whose inhabitants have no speech but song, no motions but gestures and no postures but attitudes.
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Nonsense, n. The objections that are urged against this excellent dictionary.
Ambrose Bierce
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Liberty: One of Imagination's most precious possessions.
Ambrose Bierce
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SIREN, n. One of several musical prodigies famous for a vain attempt to dissuade Odysseus from a life on the ocean wave. Figuratively, any lady of splendid promise, dissembled purpose and disappointing performance.
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REACH, n. The radius of action of the human hand. The area within which it is possible (and customary) to gratify directly the propensity to provide.
Ambrose Bierce