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INK, n. A villainous compound of tannogallate of iron, gum-arabic, and water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and promote intellectual crime.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Crime
Infection
Water
Facilitate
Used
Chiefly
Compounds
Villainous
Ink
Arabic
Promote
Gum
Iron
Idiocy
Intellectual
Compound

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NON-COMBATANT, n. A dead Quaker.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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Die: To stop sinning suddenly.
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ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.
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DIARY, n. A daily record of that part of one's life, which he can relate to himself without blushing.
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EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
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GOOD, adj. Sensible, madam, to the worth of this present writer. Alive, sir, to the advantages of letting him alone.
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REALITY, n. The dream of a mad philosopher. That which would remain in the cupel if one should assay a phantom. The nucleus of a vacuum.
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To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.
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Patriotism is as fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone, and irrational as a headless hen.
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Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
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RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. For this purpose the railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition.
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POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.
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REASON, n. Propensitate of prejudice.
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Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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Book - Learning : The dunce's derisive term for all knowledge that transcends his own impertinent ignorance.
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War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
Ambrose Bierce