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Alligator: The crocodile of America, superior in every detail to the crocodile of the effete monarchies of the Old World.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
World
Crocodiles
Monarchy
Detail
Superior
Effete
Superiors
Monarchies
Details
Alligator
America
Crocodile
Every
Alligators

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Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient
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Battle, n., A method of untying with the teeth a political knot that would not yield to the tongue.
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Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.
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To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.
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Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
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WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous occasions as, the wrath of God, the day of wrath, etc. . . .
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Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy.
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RATTLESNAKE, n. Our prostrate brother, Homo ventrambulans.
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Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
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International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoldering one
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NEWTONIAN, Pertaining to a philosophy of the universe invented by Newton, who discovered that an apple will fall to the ground, but was unable to say why. His successors and disciples have advanced so far as to be able to say when.
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Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
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According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians.
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Genius - to know without having learned to draw just conclusions from unknown premises to discern the soul of things.
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WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity.
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If every hypocrite in the United States were to break his leg to-day the country could be successfully invaded to-morrow by the warlike hypocrites of Canada.
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POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation.
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Nothing is more logical than persecution. Religious tolerance is a kind of infidelity.
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