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Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Ass
Instrument
Torture
Quill
Entertainment
Quills
Instruments
Yielded
Art
Goose
Geese
Commonly
More quotes by Ambrose Bierce
Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.
Ambrose Bierce
PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.
Ambrose Bierce
Aristocrats: n. fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts - guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.
Ambrose Bierce
MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.
Ambrose Bierce
Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.
Ambrose Bierce
BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion.
Ambrose Bierce
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.
Ambrose Bierce
IMPROVIDENCE, n. Provision for the needs of to-day from the revenues of to-morrow.
Ambrose Bierce
Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
Ambrose Bierce
predicament, n. The wage of consistency.
Ambrose Bierce
International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoldering one
Ambrose Bierce
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
Ambrose Bierce
Immoral is the judgment of the stalled ox on the gamboling lamb.
Ambrose Bierce
LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject as an editor by not writing about it.
Ambrose Bierce
WHEAT, n. A cereal from which a tolerably good whisky can be made . . . also for bread. The French are said to eat more bread per capita of population than any other people, which is natural, for only they know how to make the stuff palatable.
Ambrose Bierce
Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.
Ambrose Bierce
Men who expect universal peace through invention of destructive weapons of war are no wiser than one who, noting the improvement of agricultural implements, should prophesy an end to the tilling of the soil.
Ambrose Bierce
The palmist looks at the wrinkles made by closing the hand and says they signify character. The philosopher reads character by what the hand most loves to close upon.
Ambrose Bierce
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Ambrose Bierce
RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.
Ambrose Bierce
