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Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
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Seven
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Rome
Protestants

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NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one's competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob's-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, with angels ascending and descending.
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adore, v.t. To venerate expectantly.
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PILGRIM, n. A traveler that is taken seriously. A Pilgrim Father was one who [was] not permitted to sing psalms through his nose [in Europe], followed it to Massachusetts, where he could personate God according to the dictates of his conscience.
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Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient
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The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
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PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.
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Condole - to show that bereavement is a smaller evil than sympathy.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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DIAGNOSIS, n. A physician's forecast of disease by the patient's pulse and purse.
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In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation.
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IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound . . . . properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.
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GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
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VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.
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Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
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Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
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Optimist – A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
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Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
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Convictions are variable to be always consistent is to be sometimes dishonest.
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Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
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ZIGZAG, v.t. To move forward uncertainly, from side to side, as one carrying the white man's burden.
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