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TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Culinary
Cooking
Food
Proponents
Reply
Pigs

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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think that we think. Mind, n. A mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain.
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The natural equipment to accomplish some small part of the meaner ambitions distinguishing able men from dead ones. In the last analysis ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.
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Mad adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence not conforming to standards of thought, speech, and action derived by the conformants from study of themselves at odds with the majority in short, unusual. It is noteworthy that persons are pronounced mad by officials destitute of evidence that they themselves are sane.
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Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
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We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to call our attitude of subjection a posture of respect.
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Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
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In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.
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Condole - to show that bereavement is a smaller evil than sympathy.
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The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of remarkable Christian forbearance among men - were it not for a mawkish humanitarianism, coupled with imperfect digestive powers, we should devour our young, as Nature intended.
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Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.
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Molecule, n.: The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter ... The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the atom in that it is an ion.
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A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.
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ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of humor, the writer aims to produce in the reader's mind the dampest kind of dejection.
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Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo.
Ambrose Bierce
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REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted.
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Behavior, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding.
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MOUTH, n. In man, the gateway to the soul in woman, the outlet of the heart.
Ambrose Bierce