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Rhubarb: essence of stomach ache.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Essence
Food
Rhubarb
Ache
Culinary
Stomach
Cooking

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It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better.
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LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.
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Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
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A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.
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TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word have been affirmed, but so high an authority as Father Jape says that it comes from a very obvious source --the first words of the ancient Latin hymn _Te Deum Laudamus_. In this apparently natural derivation there is something that saddens.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.
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When publicly censured our first instinct is to make everybody a codefendant.
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A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.
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Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
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WITCH, n. (1) Any ugly and repulsive old woman, in a wicked league with the devil. (2) A beautiful and attractive young woman, in wickedness a league beyond the devil.
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CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.
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PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
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PRE-ADAMITE, n. One of an experimental and apparently unsatisfactory race of antedated Creation. . . . Little its known of them beyond the fact that they supplied Cain with a wife and theologians with a controversy.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets.
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RADIUM, n. A mineral that gives off heat and stimulates the organ that a scientist is a fool with.
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Acquaintance: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.
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Definition: CONNOISSEUR, n. A specialist who knows everything about something and nothing about anything else.
Ambrose Bierce