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PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Cooking
Whose
Indigestion
Name
Reaper
Food
Pie
Names
Agent
Culinary
Advance
Agents

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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
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POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.
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Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
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Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc.
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CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.
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When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
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The poor man's price of admittance to the favor of the rich is his self-respect.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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OUT-OF-DOORS, n. That part of one's environment upon which no government has been able to collect taxes. Chiefly useful to inspire poets.
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Friendship: A ship big enough for two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
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PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work upon a book, and so read out of it/ The qualities that you have first read into it.
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A man is the sum of his ancestors to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves.
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GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
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MINISTER, n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy, an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility.
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SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.
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PHRENOLOGY, n. The science of picking the pocket through the scalp. It consists in locating and exploiting the organ that one is a dupe with.
Ambrose Bierce