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Phoenix, n. The classical prototype of the modern 'small hot bird.'

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Prototype
Phoenix
Classical
Hot
Bird
Modern
Small

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Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.
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In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference.
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Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
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Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.
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adherent, n. A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.
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Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
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MESMERISM, n. Hypnotism before it wore good clothes, kept a carriage and asked Incredulity to dinner.
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Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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aim, n. The task we set our wishes to.
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LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males.
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. With the growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into favor, and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous.
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You can effect a change of robbers every four years. Inestimable privilege - to pull off the glutted leech and attach the lean one! And you can not even choose among the lean leeches, but must accept those designated by the programmers and showmen who have the reptiles on tap!
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Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
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HEART, n. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the seat of emotions and sentiments . . . . It is now known that sentiments and emotions reside in the stomach, being evolved from food by chemical action of the gastric fluid.
Ambrose Bierce
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Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
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BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined.
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Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
Ambrose Bierce