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gratitude, n. A sentiment lying midway between a benefit received and a benefit expected.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Sentiment
Sentiments
Received
Benefit
Expected
Gratitude
Benefits
Lying
Midway

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A subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship . . . . [H]is master works for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition.
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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DISABUSE, v.t. To present your neighbor with another and better error than the one which he has deemed advantageous to embrace.
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Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.
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IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing about.
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Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Slang is the speech of him who robs the literary garbage carts on their way to the dumps.
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I think love is the most unbelievable, and critical, thing in civilization. Everything else is very mechanical and predictable, but love, you can't catch it.
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BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion.
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OWE, v. To have (and to hold) a debt. The word formerly signified not indebtedness, but possession it meant own, and in the minds of debtors there is still a good deal of confusion between assets and liabilities.
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The game of discontent has its rules, and he who disregards them cheats. It is not permitted to you to wish to add another's advantages or possessions to your own you are permitted only to wish to be another.
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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
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OATH, n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury.
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CUNNING, n. The faculty that distinguishes a weak animal or person from a strong one. It brings its possessor much mental satisfaction and great material adversity. An Italian proverb says: The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses.
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MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.
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General, said the commander of the delinquent brigade, I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.
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