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JESTER, n. An officer attached to the king's household to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances . . . the king's own conduct and decrees [being] sufficiently ridiculous for the amusement not only of his court but of all mankind.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Kings
Amusement
Decrees
Court
Attached
Jester
Mankind
Officers
Ludicrous
Action
Household
Amuse
Conduct
Decree
Ridiculous
Utterance
King
Officer
Actions
Sufficiently
Utterances

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A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else.
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Work: a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.
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Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for bliss.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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FIDDLE, n. An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.
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ZIGZAG, v.t. To move forward uncertainly, from side to side, as one carrying the white man's burden.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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SARCOPHAGUS, n. Among the Greeks a coffin which being made of a certain kind of carnivorous stone, had the peculiar property of devouring the body placed in it.
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Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
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Happiness is lost by criticizing it sorrow by accepting it.
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MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
Ambrose Bierce
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Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
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HASH: There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.
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A chop is a piece of leather skillfully attached to a bone and administered to the patients at restaurants.
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Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
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LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject as an editor by not writing about it.
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VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.
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PARDON, v. To remit a penalty and restore to the life of crime. To add to the lure of crime the temptation of ingratitude.
Ambrose Bierce