Quote

DIAPHRAGM, n. A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels.

Ambrose Bierce

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Chest
Chests
Humour
Diaphragm
Disorder
Partition
Science
Muscular
Bowels
Disorders
Separating

More quotes by Ambrose Bierce

Image
prospect, n. An outlook, usually forbidding. An expectation, usually forbidden.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
ORTHODOX, n. An ox wearing the popular religious joke.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Don't board with the devil if you wish to be fat.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
REDEMPTION, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned . . . . whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
DIGESTION, n. The conversion of victuals into virtues. When the process is imperfect, vices are evolved instead - a circumstance from which that wicked writer, Dr. Jeremiah Blenn, infers that the ladies are the greater sufferers from dyspepsia.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
REASON, n. Propensitate of prejudice.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
J, n. A consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel . . . from a Latin verb, jacere, to throw, because when a stone is thrown at a dog the dog's tail assumes that shape.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
DIARY, n. A daily record of that part of one's life, which he can relate to himself without blushing.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.
Ambrose Bierce
Image
Alien - an American sovereign in his probationary state.
Ambrose Bierce