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APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Grave
Accomplices
Graves
Benefactors
Science
Providers
Worm
Apothecary
Physician
Accomplice
Worms
Benefactor
Physicians
Provider
Humour
Undertaker
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The wife, or bitter half.
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COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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Kindness n: A brief preface to ten volumes of exaction.
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Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
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REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.
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A bad workman quarrels with the man who calls him that.
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Clarinet n. An instrument of torture operated by a person with cotton in his ears. There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.
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Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
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WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to.
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OYSTER, n. A slimy, gobby shellfish which civilization gives men the hardihood to eat without removing its entrails! The shells are sometimes given to the poor.
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Uncommon extension of the fear of death.
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FORMA PAUPERIS. [Latin] In the character of a poor person - a method by which a litigant without money for lawyers is considerately permitted to lose his case.
Ambrose Bierce
Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.
Ambrose Bierce
TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working men, widows of small means, orphans in the care of guardians and the courts, with many similar malefactors and public enemies.
Ambrose Bierce
Monsieur Franqulin, inventor of electricity. This illustrious savant, after having made several voyages around the world, died on the Sandwich Islands and was devoured by savages, of whom not a single fragment was ever recovered.
Ambrose Bierce
DISABUSE, v.t. To present your neighbor with another and better error than the one which he has deemed advantageous to embrace.
Ambrose Bierce
FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.
Ambrose Bierce
CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance - against whom or what does not clearly appear everybody, sooner or later, had to go there, and nobody wanted to carry off the entrance.
Ambrose Bierce