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APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Humour
Undertaker
Grave
Accomplices
Graves
Benefactors
Science
Providers
Worm
Apothecary
Physician
Accomplice
Worms
Benefactor
Physicians
Provider

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A less popular name for the Second Person of that delectable newspaper Trinity, the Roomer, the Bedder, and the Mealer.
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COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness.
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PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.
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ILLUSTRIOUS, adj. Suitably placed for the shafts of malice, envy and detraction.
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Brain, v. [as in to brain]: To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly to dispel a source of error in an opponent.
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When lost in a forest go always down hill. When lost in a philosophy or doctrine go upward.
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MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.
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Happiness is lost by criticizing it sorrow by accepting it.
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.
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A book which the Mohammedans foolishly believe to have been written by divine inspiration, but which Christians know to be a wicked imposture, contradictory to the Holy Scriptures.
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IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.
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IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be considered wrong, wicked, immoral.
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An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.
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YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.
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A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.
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STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
Ambrose Bierce
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SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.
Ambrose Bierce