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Road, n. A strip of land along which one may pass from where it is too tiresome to be to where it is futile to go.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Road
Travel
Along
Journey
Land
Tiresome
May
Futile
Strip
Pass

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RITUALISM, n. A Dutch Garden of God where He may walk in rectilinear freedom, keeping off the grass.
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STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. The truth of the stories here following has, however, not been successfully impeached.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk.
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Truth - An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.
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When God makes a beautiful woman, the devil opens a new register.
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LOGANIMITY, n. The disposition to endure injury with meek forbearance while maturing a plan of revenge.
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YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.
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J, n. A consonant in English, but some nations use it as a vowel . . . from a Latin verb, jacere, to throw, because when a stone is thrown at a dog the dog's tail assumes that shape.
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APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom. The flabby wine-skin of his brain Yields to some pathologic strain, And voids from its unstored abysm The driblet of an aphorism. The Mad Philosopher, 1697
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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
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War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.
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INFALAPSARIAN, n. One who ventures to believe that Adam need not have sinned unless he had a mind to - in opposition to the Supralapsarians, who hold that that luckless person's fall was decreed from the beginning.
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POCKET, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking so she acts without motive, and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive, confessing the sins of others.
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Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
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If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.
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YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown.
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RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.
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HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable.
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APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider
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