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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Instruments
Harmony
Musical
Accordions
Accordion
Assassin
Assassins
Sentiments
Instrument
More quotes by Ambrose Bierce
Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.
Ambrose Bierce
Strive not for singularity in dress Fools have the more and men of sense the less. To look original is not worth while, But be in mind a little out of style.
Ambrose Bierce
Justice is a commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.
Ambrose Bierce
EFFECT, n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together in the same order. The first, called a Cause, is said to generate the other-which is no more sensible than it would be for one who has never seen a dog except in pursuit of a rabbit to declare the rabbit the cause of the dog.
Ambrose Bierce
There are two instruments worse than a clarinet - two clarinets.
Ambrose Bierce
ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.
Ambrose Bierce
PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.
Ambrose Bierce
Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
Ambrose Bierce
A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.
Ambrose Bierce
PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
Ambrose Bierce
Empty wine bottles have a bad opinion of women.
Ambrose Bierce
EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.
Ambrose Bierce
A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the buffone, or clown, and was therefore the ape of an ape for the clown himself imitated the serious characters of the play.
Ambrose Bierce
PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called trousers by the enlightened and pants by the unworthy.
Ambrose Bierce
Hurry n: The dispatch of bunglers.
Ambrose Bierce
VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.
Ambrose Bierce
ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.
Ambrose Bierce
To those who view the voyage of life from the port of departure the bark that has accomplished any considerable distance appears already in close approach to the farther shore.
Ambrose Bierce
Spring beckons! All things to the call respond the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.
Ambrose Bierce
MAJESTY, n. The state and title of a king. Regarded with a just contempt by the Most Eminent Grand Masters, Grand Chancellors, Great Incohonees and Imperial Potentates of the ancient and honorable orders of republican America.
Ambrose Bierce
