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Behavior, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Principles
Breeding
Conduct
Principle
Determined
Behavior

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Riven and torn with cannon-shot, the trunks of the trees protruded bunches of splinters like hands, the fingers above the wound interlacing with those below.
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Patriotism: The first resort of a scoundrel.
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GRAPESHOT, n. An argument which the future is preparing in answer to the demands of American Socialism.
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GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
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FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs
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EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.
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Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.
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PREDESTINATION, n. The doctrine that all things occur according to programme. . . . not be confused with that of foreordination. The difference is great enough to have deluged Christendom with ink, to say nothing of the gore.
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A modern school where football is taught.
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REPARATION, n. Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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PROVIDENTIAL, adj. Unexpectedly and conspicuously beneficial to the person so describing it.
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Wisdom is known only by contrasting it with folly by shadow only we perceive that all visible objects are not flat. Yet Philanthropos would abolish evil!
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self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Liberty is one of the imagination's most precious possessions.
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CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time remains to him.
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Homicide, /n./ The slaying of one human by another. There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he died by one kind or another - the classification is for the advantage of the lawyers.
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RABBLE, n. In a republic, those who exercise a supreme authority tempered by fraudulent elections. The rabble is like the sacred Simurgh, of Arabian fable - omnipotent on condition that it do nothing.
Ambrose Bierce
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HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.
Ambrose Bierce