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Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Science
Metal
Dentistry
Metals
Toothache
Pockets
Dental
Teeth
Dentist
Mouth
Pulls
Mouths
Coin
Putting
Coins
Funny
Pocket

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A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.
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When in Rome, do as Rome does.
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The wife, or bitter half.
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Aristocrats: n. fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts - guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.
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Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
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HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.
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No country is so wild and difficult but men will make it a theater of war.
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Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted what the Philistine is pleased to call a joke.
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VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.
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Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
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Advice, the smallest current coin.
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A comely female inhabiting the Mohammedan Paradise to make things cheery for the good Mussulman, whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul.
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RAREBIT n. A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point out that it is not a rabbit. To whom it may be solemnly explained that the comestible known as toad-in-a-hole is really not a toad, and that riz-de-veau à la financière is not the smile of a calf prepared after the recipe of a she banker.
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The palmist looks at the wrinkles made by closing the hand and says they signify character. The philosopher reads character by what the hand most loves to close upon.
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The game of discontent has its rules, and he who disregards them cheats. It is not permitted to you to wish to add another's advantages or possessions to your own you are permitted only to wish to be another.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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art, n. This word has no definition.
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Epitaph: An inscription on a tomb showing that virtues acquired by death have a retroactive effect.
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diplomacy, n.: The patriotic art of lying for one's country.
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PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.
Ambrose Bierce