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PRESBYTERIAN, n. One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Authorities
Holds
Conviction
Authority
Called
Church
Government
Presbyterian
Presbyterians

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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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REPUBLIC, n. A nation in which, the thing governing and the thing governed being the same, there is only a permitted authority to enforce an optional obedience.
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To those who view the voyage of life from the port of departure the bark that has accomplished any considerable distance appears already in close approach to the farther shore.
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CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.
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Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
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Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own.
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Kiss. n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for bliss.
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HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession.
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LUMINARY, One who throws light upon a subject as an editor by not writing about it.
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ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.
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LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.
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FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.
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Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.
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PLAGIARIZE, v. To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read.
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The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
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BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
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