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Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Physicians
Patient
Name
Rich
Names
Rheumatism
Gout
Physician

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MATERIAL, adj. Having an actual existence, as distinguished from an imaginary one. Important.
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SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.
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Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego.
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.
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Take not God's name in vain select a time when it will have effect.
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MISERICORDE, n. A dagger which in mediaeval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an unhorsed knight that he was mortal.
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A person of greater enterprise than discretion, who in embracing an opportunity has formed an unfortunate attachment.
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Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
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repose, v.i. To cease from troubling.
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PRICE, n. Value, plus a reasonable sum for the wear and tear of conscience in demanding it.
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Philanthropist, n.: A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.
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Truth is so good a thing that falsehood can not afford to be without it.
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Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being.
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RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.
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hybrid, n. A pooled issue.
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PALM, n. A species of tree . . . of which the familiar itching palm (Palma hominis) is most widely distributed . . . . This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver.
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Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
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