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Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Physician
Physicians
Patient
Name
Rich
Names
Rheumatism
Gout

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Patriotism is as fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone, and irrational as a headless hen.
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ENVY, n. Emulation adapted to the meanest capacity.
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Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
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Infidel, n. In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion in Constantinople, one who does.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber they fertilize.
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Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity.
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A man who piously shuts himself up to meditate upon the sin of wickedness and to keep it fresh in his mind joins a brotherhood of awful examples.
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PRESIDE, v. To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result. In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrument as, He presided at the piccolo.
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RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.
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If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Pun: A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire
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You cannot adopt politics as a profession and remain honest.
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.
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Habit: A shackle for the free.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.
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POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.
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