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EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.

Ambrose Bierce

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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Used
Remedy
Much
Approval
Extreme
Extremes
Disease
Poverty
Cases
Also
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In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation.
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You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
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OPERA, n. A play representing life in another world, whose inhabitants have no speech but song, no motions but gestures and no postures but attitudes.
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Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
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Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
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Truth is more deceptive than falsehood, for it is more frequently presented by those from whom we do not expect it, and so has against it a numerical presumption.
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An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.
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Cat: a soft indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.
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Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.
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Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.
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The palmist looks at the wrinkles made by closing the hand and says they signify character. The philosopher reads character by what the hand most loves to close upon.
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Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
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The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
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Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
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