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VANITY, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass.
Ambrose Bierce
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Ambrose Bierce
Born: 1842
Born: June 24
Aphorist
Journalist
Poet
Science Fiction Writer
Writer
Meigs County
Ohio
Dod Grile
William Herman
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce
Ambrose Bierce
Vanity
Fool
Worth
Nearest
Tribute
Ass
More quotes by Ambrose Bierce
UNITARIAN, n. One who denies the divinity of a Trinitarian.
Ambrose Bierce
Dictionary: a malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic
Ambrose Bierce
PHYSICIAN, n. One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
Ambrose Bierce
Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity.
Ambrose Bierce
Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.
Ambrose Bierce
An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
Ambrose Bierce
EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.
Ambrose Bierce
PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.
Ambrose Bierce
Evolutionary biology is genuinely scientific, but more than that it opens the door to a world more marvellous than any Christian fundamentalist has ever read into the pages of the Bible.
Ambrose Bierce
PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.
Ambrose Bierce
REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.
Ambrose Bierce
Male, A member of the unconsidered or negligible gender. The male of the human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man. The Genus has two varieties: good providers and bad providers.
Ambrose Bierce
When publicly censured our first instinct is to make everybody a codefendant.
Ambrose Bierce
In this world one must have a name it prevents confusion, even when it does not establish identity. Some, though, are known by numbers, which also seem inadequate distinctions.
Ambrose Bierce
Genius - to know without having learned to draw just conclusions from unknown premises to discern the soul of things.
Ambrose Bierce
PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
Ambrose Bierce
READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in dialect and humor in slang.
Ambrose Bierce
INDIFFERENT, adj. Imperfectly sensible to distinctions among things.
Ambrose Bierce
Eloquence, n. The art of orally persuading fools that white is the color that it appears to be. It includes the gift of making any color appear white.
Ambrose Bierce
RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
Ambrose Bierce